How to Love Your Neighbor
Disclaimer: This post is among the hardest for me to write. It feels hypocritical to share with others how to be a good neighbor when I myself feel like a failure in this respect. Take this post as it was written, from the perspective of someone who was treated with real neighborly love over and over and who is still learning how to pass it on.Recently, members of our congregation took part in a World Relief program called "First Christmas in America" that welcomes refugees to our city. It reminded me of my own first Christmas in America.The first year in a new place is always the most difficult. The first year in a new country is unbearably more so. Yet, my family and I were very blessed to have friends who treated us like family.Though we were not refugees, we were part of a program put on by our University to connect new international students (my father) to members of the community. From the very first Christmas here, I had adopted American grandparents to spoil me (and they did). They wrote the handbook for how to love your neighbor, and in this case how to welcome new immigrants.Here are some ways they shared Christ's love. While I don't think I can ever repay them, I can learn to pass it on.
FOOD
I don't know a single culture of hospitality that doesn't begin with food--even American. My adopted American grandparents introduced us to the food traditions of Americans. They taught us to eat ice cream with pretzels, that tea could be served over ice (shocking!), and that real, homemade pumpkin pie was a slice of heaven. My mother shared with them Egyptian recipes like macarona béchamel, her lemon fried fish, and her insanely amazing baklava.Because my parents were usually fasting for the Nativity, we eventually built a small tradition around having a Thanksgiving meal the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was there that I developed an undying love for cranberry sauce and made-from-scratch biscuits and an unnatural aversion to turkey (it's just so BIG!).As the tradition of caring for our neighbors dies, we must lean in and revive it. No neighbor ever turned down a plate of homemade dessert. And hint if baking is not your thing, slice and bake cookies work just as well!
GIFTS
No one ever said the best gifts were the biggest. My adopted grandparents got me some amazing gifts, but the ones I remember, the ones that are dearest to my heart, were actually very small. One year, they got me and my sisters stockings. To this day, I maintain a tradition of hanging stockings over the mantle for my children because it was introduced to me with such love.Another time, they gave me their old cassettes of Christian music. Several were tapes for children with songs I still sing ("Keep your tongue from evil--keep your tongue!") and another was an old Amy Grant album (I think it was this one). One year, as you can see, it was a Barbie.Gifts don't have to be expensive. They don't even have to be new. Share something you love with a gentle heart, and someone else will love it too.
SERVICE
For several months after we arrived in the States, we didn't have a car. But there were my adopted American grandparents to the rescue, helping us get groceries, driving us to church each week.As someone who always grew up in a town with several family members, moving with Abouna after ordination was a shock. I could no longer call my father, my uncle, or my grandfather to save me in an emergency. I am so grateful to the many members of our congregation who have helped me out in these years exactly like family would.Acts of service don't have to be very big. Recently, our neighbor left home for a week. He wrote a note and tucked it into the door asking us to watch the house while he was gone. It was a small act that built trust between us.I am painfully shy with strangers and cannot initiate conversation well, but I am learning from my incredible husband. These days, even just waving and saying hello as you come and go from your home is a beautiful act of service.
TIME
My adopted grandmother is an expert gardener. (My thumb is shriveled and brown, just like all plants I have ever owned.) She tended to our family with the same care and tenderness that she tended to those incredible tomatoes. There were some big gestures, but most of the time it was small acts of love that accumulated over time: phone calls to check in, Christmas cards and get well soon cards that came in the mail, trinkets for the children.It takes time to build a relationship. For a refugee who has left all close relationships to come to a new country, they are really starting from zero. They have no network. Stepping forward to be part of their new network has a heavenly reward. It's not easy; it's rarely simple. It takes time. But it's worthwhile.
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR
My parents still keep in close touch with our adopted grandparents. They will always be, to me, among the foremost models of Christian hospitality.Food, gifts, service, and time... Four ways to connect with your neighbor--to fulfill Christ's commandment to take in the stranger.Whatever your politics, whatever your feelings, I hope you show all your neighbors the love and tenderness of the season just as God has shown you through the years.
Your Turn
How do you love your neighbor? Leave a comment or drop me a line.
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