How to Be More Loving to Unloving People

Want to listen instead?We face difficult people every day. We face people we don't understand, who don't behave towards us in ways we expect, who don't show us love. We face people who make us angry or tired or sad by their behavior, people who attack us or ignore us or hurt us in other ways.We see these people in school or at work. Sometimes, we live with them in our own homes. Sometimes they are simply rude strangers on the road of life.But we are Christians. We are required to be Christ-like. We're asked to bless those who curse us (Matthew 5:44). Can you imagine? A guy gives you the finger while driving, and you are asked to *bless him*. And I say "asked," but really it's not a request. Are you a Christian? This is what you're supposed to do. f(A) = B. Period.But HOW?? How can we be loving towards unloving people?I always think about David being chased around by King Saul, a man he had loved, trusted, and looked up to, now out to kill him. It's worth it to go back and read those chapters in 1 Samuel. Saul makes himself David's enemy, but David refuses to harm him. He shows him and his family extraordinary love.So how. How can we be more loving? This isn't a problem with a short and easy solution. My short and easy solution can be found in "You Will Die (So Will I)." To really be more loving requires a paradigm shift. It requires a new pair of glasses to put on to love more clearly.First, we have to acknowledge that God puts loving people in our lives. He really does. If we open our eyes to them, if we take our eyes off the difficult people for a minute and look around, we see that we are surrounded by examples of love. And they don't have to be loving us--we can look towards people who love their neighbors or their friends well and emulate them. We can soak up all the habits and tricks and ways of loving that also fit into our personality. We can read biographies and memoirs of people who loved greatly. We can open our eyes to all the tiny and GREAT ways that God loves us: the timely rainbow, the well-placed flower, the miracles that take our breath away.Then, we have to recognize that God gives us opportunities to practice empathy. This takes time to really learn, but it's so important. We need to spend time each day putting ourselves in someone else's shoes. It means when you're standing at the cash register, stop and think about the cashier's tired feet. It means when you're at a red light, sneak a peek at the person in the car next to you. You'd be surprised how often I spot people crying alone in their cars. And then say a prayer for these people. Pray for the traffic cop with his radar pointed at all of you because it's his job and it's how he brings food home for his children. Pray for the professor whose home life you spot spilling into his professional life.Practice with strangers and work your way in. The hardest person to love is sometimes the difficult person closest to you, but that's the one your love affects the most. That's the one you're most responsible for loving. That's the one you're held most liable for if you don't.Stop it. I can hear you already. Fight the urge to say, "But shouldn't she be more loving to me first!!" Stop that thought before it poisons you. Even in school we were taught to mind our own business. Our own personal sin, our own lack of lovingkindness, that's where our eyes are to fall.Maybe you've got the speck and he's got the plank, but you can't see that from where you are. Theory of relativity and all that. Only God can see which of you is less guilty. Because we are all guilty.But maybe you're perfect. If so, I recommend you stop reading my posts. They're written by an imperfect person for fellow imperfect humans. Here we work towards perfection, knowing that the only Person to bridge the gap in us is God.Go out and try this today. Try it now. Look up and find someone being loving to learn from and find someone being difficult to practice on. Be generous with your love. Your salvation depends on it."For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you." (Luke 6:38 - one of my favorites)Want to ask a question or ask for clarification? You can comment below or head to the Contact page to message me directly.